Balancing Life and War

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August 27, 2024
Sondra Oster Baras

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When I was a kid, my friends and I tried to master a trick — rubbing our stomachs in a circular motion while patting our heads in an up and down motion.  We occasionally succeeded, but it was always very amusing as we tried to get the separate rhythms and motions in line.  There would always be some of the younger children who would cry in frustration because they just couldn’t get it.

When I think about our lives in Israel I am often reminded of that silly childhood exercise.  Because, we are actually living a life that requires us to balance two different tasks at the same time.  One is just living an ordinary life.  The other is dealing with a terrible war, with threats that we never thought we would have to face, with growing criticism of our country from even our strongest allies.  We often scratch our heads in amazement at how stupid or two-faced international leaders seem to be while at the same time, we look after our children and grandchildren, go to work, and continue living the same ordinary life that we have always lived.

This week especially brought this all home to me.  August is always the witching time in Israel.  The various summer programs and day camps for children wind to a close and parents are desperate to find solutions for their children while they work.  Typically, families with young children choose this time of year to take a holiday and travel abroad or to the north or south of Israel for great fun and family togetherness.  This year, vacation options were far more limited, with the north of the country out of bounds and international airlines cancelling their flights to Israel.  In any case, when parents are working and their children don’t have camp, grandparents are often called upon the fill the gap.

My children are thrilled that my husband and I are now retired and we have been very busy this August taking grandchildren to amusement parks, to the movies, or just having them in our home, where we enjoy our small above-ground pool, play board games, or watch TV. 

On Sunday, we were scheduled to meet our daughter and her adorable 2 year-old son for a day at a small kiddie park in Rehovot.  We woke up just after 6 am and, as always, turned on the news, only to discover that Israel had just launched a major attack against Hezbollah in Lebanon, neutralizing thousands of rocket launchers and rockets that were about to be fired to the center of Israel, aimed at the heart of Israel’s intelligence community.   At the same time, weaponized drones, missiles and rockets were launched by Hezbollah at a wide range of civilian targets in the north of Israel.  Several homes were destroyed in Acco.  Bombs exploded in the Golan and in the Galilee.  The major north-south road in the Eastern Golan Heights was closed.  Ben-Gurion Airport was closed. And residents throughout the northern part of Israel were instructed to stay close to their shelters.

Commentators and retired generals were discussing the chance of an escalation of the fighting in the north. One military correspondent totally lost it on air as he railed against the policies that favor an ongoing war of attrition in the north rather than a serious offensive to neutralize Hezbollah and bring quiet to the Galilee. 

More than 60,000 people have been evacuated from their homes since October and there is no end in sight.  Every single day, Hezbollah rains missiles on northern Israel.  Nearly every home in Metula has been damaged or totally destroyed.  Most of Kiryat Shmona is a shambles.   And the smaller communities along Israel’s northern border are ghost towns.  School is beginning again next week and these families have no idea what the school year will look like for their children  It is an untenable situation, and as the newscaster voiced his frustration, he echoed the frustration we are all feeling.

As all this is going on, as we are wondering what is in store for us that day, we check to see if there are any emergency instructions for Rehovot.  A quick glance at the Home Front website made it clear that our plans for the kiddie park could go forward.  So off we went for a great day with our daughter and grandson, on the carousel, the choo-choo train and all the other kiddie rides, followed by a pizza lunch.

How do we do it?  How do we carry our rage and frustration at the situation, at our enemies, and at our allies who continue to rein in Israel even as the situation screams for more aggressive action?  How do we manage our constant concern for our troops — watching every morning as the newest casualties are reported — do we know the family?  Do we know the fallen soldier?  How do we continue to help families in need, to reach out to comfort a refugee family from the north or the south, all the while having no ability to help them where help is needed most — to return them safely to their homes!

And as all this is going on, how do we worry about entertaining grandchildren, spending days at amusement parks?  On Sunday, while we were at the park, we noticed a huge pillar of smoke rising up from a neighborhood nearby.  My daughter and I immediately looked at each other and thought — is that a drone attack from Gaza?  There were no sirens and all we saw were a few fire trucks rushing to the scene, so we gathered it was just an ordinary fire.  And so we went back to enjoying the carousel. But an enemy attack is always in the back of  our minds. 

This is life in Israel.  We are constantly doing two opposite things at once, and trying very hard to sustain both.  We can’t afford to ignore the threats that surround us. But at the same time, we are determined to continue living.  We may well be at war for years, but we will never let our enemies destroy our will to live and our determination to live as normal a life as possible. 

It may not be normal to wonder if a pillar of smoke is a missile attack while enjoying a carousel ride, but at least we are still on the carousel.  And we keep praying, each and every day, for better times, for wisdom for our leaders and for international leaders.  Thank you for praying and for caring so much.

 

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